My husband and I recently moved from California to Washington State. Our children had both moved to the same town, and I was excited to be close to them and our grandchildren. Before we could make this move, we had to sell our home in California, which required a lot of fixing up before we could put it on the market. I dreamed about the nice home we would be able to purchase in Washington. One that was move in ready. As we began our search for what we called, ”Our forever home,” my expectations of a big beautiful new house soon faded.
The price for a home in the area we had hoped to live in had doubled. We were told this area was not in our price range now. We would have to choose somewhere else to live. So, I prayed and asked God for a house we could afford in this desired location. Soon after that, my son in law told me about a house that had just come on the market in our price range. We made an appointment to see it the very next day. As I walked into the house my heart sank. Yes, this house was in our price range, but it was the worst house we had looked at. It needed to be totally renovated. My husband immediately fell in love with it.
The house came with an acre of ground and a shop. What else could we ask for? I found myself asking God, “Is this your answer to my prayer?"
Surely not!
The worst feature in the house was a bank of windows at the top of the roof, sort of like a dormer, but not exactly. It consisted of two-bathroom windows with a small window in between them. I just couldn’t get over how ugly they were, and how ridiculous bathroom windows were at the top of a house. In- spite of all my complaining and reservations, the house was purchased. Now instead of living in the house of my dreams, I’m dealing with the unexpected house of my nightmares. How could this happen? I will now have to adjust my thinking, to start making plans for a huge renovation.
My favorite scripture is Proverb’s 3:5,6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not own your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him and He will direct your path.” I knew the scripture very well but, suddenly I had to actually live it.
It was a concept I couldn’t seem to grasp.
My brother came to visit us right after we moved in. I will never forget what he said about the house, “This place is a dump”, he proclaimed. That single statement plunged me into despair. I lost all hope of ever being happy in this house. So, I made plans to sell it, until I discovered it wasn’t worth what we had bought it for.
I was stuck, with no way out.
The beginning of Proverbs 13:12 says: “Hope deferred makes the heart sick...” Not only was my heart sick, but so was my mind, soul, and spirit. The bitterness I felt toward my husband for buying this “dump” began to overtake me. Unforgiveness came in like a flood. Soon all the wounds from our entire marriage began to play like a- tape in my head. I could not say anything good about my husband. The anger and bitterness I felt, gave an open door to a critical spirit and one of self- pity.
During all of this, I was volunteering at the healing rooms in my city as an intercessor. I was totally blind to the spirit of offense I was walking in. On my way to the healing rooms one morning, I was listening to a song called “I surrender,” by Matt Gilman. The song says over, and over again, "I want to be free of everything that keeps me from loving you." I said to the Lord, I was very sincere in my desire to love Jesus above all else.
When I arrived at the healing rooms, they were anointing one another and praying for each other. When my turn came, I began to weep and then my weeping turned into wailing. Sobbing, I was on my face before the Lord.
All the bitterness and worry from the past year began to pour out.
The Lord healed me that day.
Suddenly all my despair and turmoil melted into peace.
All the anger and bitterness that I carried for a whole year just vanished!
At last I was free.
I cannot describe how magnificent that peace was.
The Lord led me to Ezekiel 47, where the angel takes Ezekiel into the water to his ankles, and then to his knees, and finally to his waist.
The Lord spoke very clearly to me that morning.
“ Come out into the deep with me, learn to swim in the deep."
The Lord used this house in so many ways to teach me about Him and how to be faithful in the- midst of huge disappointment.
The Lord would use the transition of this house to teach me to trust him in the unseen things, and to help me understand that his ways are not always our ways.
His plan is so much better than our own.
Those ugly bathroom windows at the top of my house have now been transformed into five equally sized crystal- clear windows, that usher in the beautiful sunlight in the morning. They have become the best feature of my house.
The last part of Proverbs 13:12 says: "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life."
Delva Chaddock
Signet Team Member